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                        太原
                         歡迎訪問德育新時空!
                        親子交流應避免這7個錯誤
                        2019年06月28日 15:43來源:網絡轉載 閱讀量: 139

                        經常有家長說:“為啥原來的乖孩子長大了就變得叛逆、愛頂嘴了?”除了孩子自身問題,家長在陪伴成長、與之交流的過程中可能存在不妥。近日,美國《華盛頓郵報》刊出多位心理學、教育學專家總結的家長帶孩子時常犯的7個錯,值得家長們反思。 

                        錯誤1:跟十幾歲的孩子說話,還把他們當小孩。美國臨床心理學家約翰·杜菲博士表示,孩子十幾歲時,家長應像對待成年人一樣對待他們,對其觀點即便強烈反對,也要認真傾聽和關注。人人都希望自己的觀點得到尊重,孩子也不例外。美國國會山兒童精神病學會會長梅格凡·阿克特伯格表示,相互尊重對青少年尤其重要。如果孩子對你翻白眼、出言不遜或頂嘴,家長應自問“我對孩子是否尊重?”“我對孩子的說話語氣是否像對朋友一樣?” 

                        錯誤2:把與孩子談話當任務。青少年對家長的態度極其敏感,如果你把與其交談當成不得不完成的任務,孩子必然能感受到且有傷害感。十幾歲的孩子能“嗅出”誰在迎合,誰在認真聆聽他們的話。 

                        錯誤3:總是說教。不少家長總是擺出一副高高在上的姿態和孩子說話,這樣只會讓你們之間的關系日漸疏遠。杜菲博士建議,和孩子說話要真誠,多微笑和分享。美國喬治華盛頓大學在線高中副校長馬麗婭·科伊爾提醒家長,孩子到了十幾歲時,家長應積極參與孩子的生活,多交流比以往任何時候都重要。 

                        錯誤4:一邊聽孩子說話,一邊做別的事。家長這種做法給孩子傳遞的信號是:我沒有將全部注意力集中在你的說話內容上。建議家長與孩子談話時,放下手機、工作、家務等,沒有什么比聽孩子說話更重要的。 

                        錯誤5:打斷孩子講話。孩子在和你說話時,如果突然被打斷或莫名大笑,是不冷靜且不尊重的表現。阿克特伯格會長表示,家長應把孩子當朋友,表達你對他的尊重和善意。傾聽孩子說話時,多聽少說少插話。 

                        錯誤6:替孩子做選擇。家長這種做法完全剝奪了孩子的自主選擇權。面對“我想做什么?”“我想成為什么樣的人?”等問題時,青少年最希望能自己做主。家長的選擇往往會導致孩子缺乏足夠的動力,失去充分的發展空間。杜菲博士表示,很多家長擔心孩子犯錯或走彎路,然而在成長過程中最需要不斷嘗試、吸取教訓和總結經驗。 

                        錯誤7:逼迫孩子說話。為了與孩子多交流,有些家長頻繁找孩子談話。太過頻繁地逼迫孩子說話,往往適得其反。阿克特伯格會長建議,家長可以與孩子分享工作中發生的奇聞趣事,孩子更可能參與討論并提出建議。這種更自然的交流方式能顯著增強孩子的自信心,更樂于與父母交流。 

                        科伊爾副校長表示,為了更好地陪伴孩子成長,家長應抓住聊天的最佳時機,把握正確的提問方式。晚上和坐車時是青少年最渴望與父母交流的時刻。嘗試開放式和非評判性的問題,比如“今天發生的最好的事是什么?”“今天發生了哪些你不喜歡的事?”“今年暑假我們去哪里玩?”杜菲博士建議,與孩子一起聽音樂,看他們喜歡的節目,或者詢問他們最喜歡的社交媒體軟件,都有助于尋找更多的共同話題,走進孩子的世界。

                        [出處:網摘]

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