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                        太原
                         歡迎訪問德育新時空!
                        讀書交流后的一場對戰
                        2019年06月25日 13:51來源:網絡轉載 閱讀量: 218

                        近期和老師作過一次溝通,老師反饋孩子上課愛講話,習慣不好,我知道孩子的情況,原來以為只是孩子專注力不夠,但老師說孩子上課積極認真,表現欲望強,所以我沒把這些放在心上。帶著這個問題,趁著今晚的讀書交流會,我做了一個仔細的觀察和記錄。

                        在讀書會之前,我向孩子提出了兩個要求,不翹椅子,上課不插話,很快我發現了問題,第一,不會傾聽,愛插話,上課時,老師和同學話未講完,他就不自覺地往下說,而且老師沒請他回答問題,他也忍不住一直插話。第二,玩玩具,把像皮泥做成的各種造型的玩具偷偷帶去,放在桌上,一會兒忍不住摸玩,我收走了還在生氣,三、不會等待,沒有抗挫能力,老師沒請到,就一直把手舉得高高的,沒有請到他還生氣,鬧脾氣,四、回答問題沒有想好就沖口而出,回答沒有針對性, 以很多問題答非所問,五,上課了還一直對著我喊口喝,我不理他,告訴他這是在上課,他一個人在生悶氣,諸如此類的小狀況非常多,真的看了又生氣又糾心,剛開始時,我生氣,難過,著急各種情緒都有,但慢慢地,我讓自己冷靜下來,我想首先我要做到接納。

                        回家的路上,當孩子提出要求要帶他去兜風時,我平靜地拒絕了,語氣有些堅定,孩子問,為什么,我說,你想想為什么?回到家,我先和老公做好溝通,說了孩子的情況,暗示老公站在中間立場來分析孩子的情況,最后再做總結。

                        孩子低頭坐在沙發上生悶氣,我想今晚孩子的問題決不是一天兩天一次兩次了,我要把他的問題針對性地提出來,我告訴自己再也不能象以前那樣蜻蜓點水,你表現很好,但是……方面改正了就更好,但我告訴自己一定不能對孩子語言傷害,即使傷害,也要減到最低,我只說事實盡量不作評判,整個過程,我是用心平氣和進行。

                        首先,我要指出來問題所在,我一反常態,對孩子說,你覺得你今晚表現如何,孩子說,很好啊,上課回答問題積極,老師表揚我,說話時一直把頭垂得低低的,顯然,他也知錯啦,我接著說,是啊,你進步了,不但做到了不翹椅子,回答問題時積極,認真,聽別人講話,舉手老師沒看到你卻不氣餒,一直把手舉得高高的,我繼續問他,那你覺得有什么做得不對的地方嗎,孩子不說,嘟著嘴,眼淚止不住地往下流,我繼續問,你不是不覺得老師不請你回答問題,媽媽收了你的玩具,媽媽不給你買水喝讓你生氣,傷心?孩子還有哭,我說,我也反思下,媽媽今晚確實也做得不好,收了你的玩具,而且在聽課時,沒有表現出對你欣賞,肯定而是生氣,憤怒失望的表情,讓你大失所望,請你原諒,但媽媽覺得有三個地方確實要說出來,我說出來后,你覺得,我說得對不對,可以反駁,然后我們一起商量對策好不好?

                        一、我說媽媽看到,你上課玩玩具,注意力被分散了,媽媽希望你能做到自律,好幾次用眼睛看著你,最好只好收走了,兒子哭著說,那不是玩具,是橡皮,是文具用品,我說,哦,那媽媽說錯了,以為是玩具,但上課時,能拿出這是與本節課不相關的東西嗎?媽媽看到你好好用手摸旁邊的同學也過來玩了,這時候爸爸說了,上課是不能帶無關物品聽,爸爸在去讀書會時還交待你不要帶去,帶去了如果沒有保管好,它會影響你的上課的。

                        二、不會傾聽老師和同伴的講話,當他們沒講完的時候,或老師沒請你時,就插話,爸爸接過話,是啊,傾聽是美德,就是學會尊重別人,學會自律。

                        三、要學會等等,學會思考問題,老師話沒講完,或一講完,你就迫不及待舉手,沒有經過的情況下回答問題,是不全面的,要經過深思熟慮,老師沒有請到你回答的時候要學會等待。剛開始時,兒子還是不服氣,因為他不懂得這有什么錯,爸爸總結說,你讀過國學,知道“心中有戒尺”的意思,戒尺是放在心中國,必須做到的上課是非常講究紀律的,我們要遵守學校的規章制度,你還小,每個孩子都是在犯錯中成長的,今天媽媽說的這三點你好好想想,你覺得有道理再來跟我們說。等孩子情緒穩定之后,他終于抬起頭來說,媽媽說的這三點,我以后會做到。

                        及時發現孩子的問題,及時尋找適合自己孩子的方法,這是學了家庭教育之后能運用理論聯系實踐的工具。

                        [出處:中華家庭教育網]

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