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                        太原
                         歡迎訪問德育新時空!
                        新家庭教育宣言
                        2017年01月03日 09:15來源:網絡轉載閱讀量: 70

                            在進入21世紀的今天,在改革開放的中國,父母與孩子都有許多顯著的變化,家庭教育必然具有許多新的特點和規律。因此,現代父母需要新家庭教育觀,家庭教育工作者更是需要新家庭教育觀,這是家庭教育工作的正確方向與原則的邏輯起點。

                            那么,究竟什么是新家庭教育觀呢?新家庭教育觀是關于家庭教育規律與特點的新認識和新方法,是以追求家庭和諧、促進人生幸福與社會進步為核心目標的科學理論。就當下而言,新家庭教育觀至少包括以下五方面的內容。

                            新的家庭觀

                            我們需要捍衛家庭

                            當今中國家庭教育最突出的問題是一個見仁見智的問題,在我看來,幾乎所有問題孩子的背后,都有一個問題家庭。家庭的脆弱、衰落甚至崩潰是最為嚴重的家庭教育危機。換句話說,就是有太多的家庭沒有溫暖,沒有正常的生活,沒有良好的關系。而當家不像家、父母不像父母,孩子就不可能像孩子。比如,902萬留守兒童的家庭,特別是36萬無人監護的留守兒童,比如每年幾百萬離異家庭中那些發生冷戰與熱戰而傷害孩子的家庭,還有近半數家庭父教缺失等問題。

                            我呼吁每個人都珍惜自己的家庭,全社會都來支持家庭,國家多出臺一些維護家庭建設的法律法規,例如出臺《家庭教育法》《父親法》《兒童福利法》等。媒體不要再宣傳那些沒有孝心不顧家庭的所謂典型,而要多介紹溫馨暖人的美好家庭。有了美好家庭才有美好的家庭教育。

                            新的兒童觀

                            我們需要尊重兒童權利

                            沒有新的兒童觀,就不可能有好的家庭教育。中國家庭教育極為突出的問題,就是對兒童的不理解和不尊重。

                            歐洲的文藝復興最偉大的貢獻是確立了人的中心地位和發現了兒童。如法國思想家盧梭在《愛彌兒》一書中說道:“兒童是人”“兒童是成長中的人”“兒童是兒童”。這簡單的三句話,所包含的意義卻很深刻。

                            尊重兒童不是一句空話,需要實實在在的法律政策保障。中國1990年簽約聯合國的《兒童權利公約》,并于1991年在本國頒布的《未成年人保護法》,確認了兒童或未成年人擁有生存權、發展權、受保護權和參與權,同時確立未成年人受到優先保護和特殊保護。

                            可是,全國婦聯2015年發布的第二次全國家庭教育狀況的調研報告顯示,《未成年人保護法》《預防未成年人犯罪法》《義務教育法》《兒童權利公約》是兒童保護的基本法律和文件,父母認真學習過這些兒童保護法律的不足一成。這或許可以佐證,各種各樣傷害兒童的案例為何接連發生,依法執教在中國為什么困難重重。同時可以說明,普及兒童保護的基本法律和文件精神是多么亟不可待,教育治理是多么刻不容緩。

                            新的兒童觀至少需要確立對于童年的五個認識:童年影響一生;兒童是具有巨大潛力和希望的人;兒童是具有個性差異并需要尊重的人;兒童雖然弱小也是一個權利主體;兒童是受到特殊保護的人。

                            可以說,樹立新的兒童觀,尊重兒童權利,這是新家庭教育觀最重要的基石。

                            新的教育觀

                            我們需要生活教育

                            我在中國青少年研究中心工作近30年,幾乎年年都在做中小學生狀況調查,發現一個規律性的數據,即多數學生認為,家庭與學校最看重的是他們的學習成績。我在與廣大父母們交流時,發現他們焦慮的情緒可以用一句話來概括,即告訴孩子:“只要你把學習搞好了,別的什么都不用你管。”我完全理解父母們的無奈,但這句話非常可怕,因為這是反生活教育的宣言!這樣的所謂教育無法成功,更無法幸福,必定是對孩子的摧殘,也是對父母和老師的折磨。全國婦聯的調查顯示,“輔導孩子學習力不從心”的父母占40%。

                            我們倡導的新家庭教育觀,就是要學習和實踐著名教育家陶行知的生活教育理論,把反生活的教育變為愛生活、會生活的教育。實際上,生活教育是父母們最擅長、最便捷、最長久的教育,也是孩子最需要、最適合、最歡迎的教育。腦科學和心理學的研究早已經證明,生活教育與知識教育不是對立的,而是相輔相成相互促進的。美國心理學會前主席斯騰伯格教授提出,分析性、實踐性和創造性為三大成功智力,而三大智力的培養都離不開生活教育。

                            新的代際關系觀

                            我們需要與孩子一起成長

                            當代中國已進入信息化時代,而信息化動搖了父母的權威地位。據全國婦聯調查,父母在互聯網應用方面不具優勢,坦承“孩子比我強”“孩子跟我不相上下”的超過六成。可以說,沒有任何時代的父母像今天這樣需要學習,需要與孩子一起成長。

                            在變化迅猛的時代,理智的親子關系趨向于相互學習共同成長。兒童長大的過程是社會化的過程。今日中國出現了雙向社會化的特征,“三娘”可以教子,子也可以教“三娘”,兩代人均以能者為師。對于父母來說,需要調整好心態,欣然向孩子學習。

                            早在1997年,中國青少年研究中心就成立了“向孩子學習”課題組,我與首師大的康麗穎教授主持,就兒童在社會化過程中對成人世界的影響進行了大型調查研究。研究發現,當代中小學生具有10個方面的優秀品質,如樂于接受新事物和新思想、主體性強、平等意識強、法律意識和自我保護意識強、積極參與社會生活、有較強的公民意識、比成年人更容易接受環保意識、相信事實、做事認真、積極的休閑態度、興趣愛好廣泛,等等。這些優秀品質已經在影響成年人。

                            近20年過去,一代代兒童在社會化過程中對成人世界的影響不僅在繼續,而且在加大加深。即使在家庭教育方面,多少孩子在提醒父母應該怎樣教育自己,這些提醒往往是正確的,是符合兒童身心發展需要的。這種兩代人相互學習共同成長的動人景象,成為新家庭教育觀鮮明的時代特征。

                            新的文化觀

                            我們需要提高文化自信

                            在今日中國,許多人熱衷于過洋節,卻對中國的傳統節日不屑一顧。在家庭教育方面,也是以西方的觀點和方法為標準,給孩子推薦的圖書也是以西方的為經典佳作。這些往往表現了對于中國優秀傳統文化的無知,甚至存有文化自卑的心理。實際上,從中國與西方文化比較的角度會發現,在家庭建設與家庭教育方面,中國擁有舉世罕見的豐富資源,如幾千年傳承下來的儒釋道的哲學思想,如富有真知灼見的家訓文化,如近現代眾多教育家的教育探索,都足以讓我們具有獨特的教育優勢和高度的文化自信。如習近平總書記所說,不忘本來,吸收外來,為了未來。新家庭教育觀主張,在文化自信的基礎上,積極吸收西方文化中發現兒童、尊重兒童權利、培養人的獨立性和創造性等優點,我們將發展出更加生機勃勃的家庭教育。

                            當然,新家庭教育觀還有許多有待于探索的方面,例如新的學習觀、新的成功觀、新的哲學觀、新的家校合作觀,還有變消極的教育為積極的教育、變失敗的教育為成功的教育、變單調乏味的教育為豐富多彩的教育、變極端的教育為平衡的教育,等等。

                            總之,富有創新性的新家庭教育觀將為教育治理提供新的思路,將為家庭教育事業注入新的活力,將成為家庭和諧與人生幸福和社會進步的理論基礎,而首先成為廣大父母與教師特別是家庭教育工作者新的導航系統。

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