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                        太原
                         歡迎訪問德育新時空!
                        別不信,父母都會陷入這九大誤區!
                        2019年06月22日 18:39來源:網絡轉載 閱讀量: 296

                        當我們還是孩子時,我們如果對父母教育方式有所不滿,一定會在心里默默地說,“等我有了小孩,我才不會這樣對他,己所不欲,勿施于人!”但其實己所欲也勿要施于人,因為很多你自以為是的教育方式都在不知覺中陷入了誤區。今天就來談談那些顯而易見卻又相見恨晚的經驗。

                        過分溺愛

                        愛得無原則,孩子成了家里的小公主,小太陽,成了家里的獨裁者,東方不敗。

                        嚴厲專治

                        在觀念上沒有做到尊重孩子,管教孩子的態度居高臨下。到后來爸媽一個嚴厲的眼色就能讓孩子雙腿發軟,忍不住跪下。

                        期望過高

                        很多孩子的父母對孩子的期望表現為目標過高,錯誤的認為孩子一定能“青出于藍而勝于藍。”不顧孩子的實際,盲目的定發展目標,有的要求孩子超過村里學霸,有的要求孩子比老爸做的更好,有的甚至要求孩子超過華羅庚……

                        重養輕教

                        許多父母節衣縮食,盡可能的滿足孩子的物質需求,忽略孩子的心理關愛。其實物質上匱乏一點沒什么,生于憂患死于安樂啊。如果孩子什么都不缺,他就該缺乏斗志了。

                        重智輕德

                        許多父母都把自己的精力花在孩子的智力開發上,忽視對子女思想品德修養及行為習慣的養成。小勝靠智,大勝靠德。沒有良好的行為習慣,專注算計別人二十年,這能好嗎?

                        重智輕能

                        “萬般皆下品,唯有讀書高”的意識,在當今時代人有一定市場,許多父母不愿意子女一輩子只是一個普通勞動者,于是督促孩子以拿到文憑作為第一目標。這一點我媽媽每天都在檢討,小時候,為了讓我能一鳴驚人,她讓我天天學習而不允許我做家務,結果現在還是不會做家務……

                        輕視自律

                        有的父母對孩子要求積極嚴格,完全是軍事化管理,而對自己完全是退休干部療養院管理。咱們說其身正不令而行,其身不正雖令不從,咱們自己躺在沙發上抱著狗狗吃著薯片看喜羊羊與灰太狼,卻要求孩子餓著肚子專心致志地做題,能行嗎?

                        包辦代替

                        父母不明確自己應當扮演什么樣的角色,不懂得作父母的責任應當更多的用自己的人格魅力去影響孩子。孩子自己能做的事,父母不代替。有的家長說:“我一大早起床給孩子做飯,叫他起床,幫他穿衣服,放學后要陪他做作業,檢查作業,一天到晚圍著孩子轉,這顆心全給了孩子。”這樣的父母似乎不在少數,然而您卻做過頭了。真正正確的做法應當是:孩子自己能做的事,父母不要代替。

                        忽視身教

                        言傳、身教同樣重要。很多家長忽視身教,甚至身教于言教相互矛盾。我爸爸就有這樣的一個問題,每次我全家吃飯,我一說話就會被他用反導系統攔截:“吃不言,睡不語,吃飯的時候哪來這么多話?話說多了不好,孔子都說了,君子要敏于行而訥于言,孔子是中國古代著名的思想家,教育家,他有一個曾曾曾曾…曾孫子叫做孔慶東,在北大教書,北大是中國最好的大學,創辦于很久以前,北大的旁邊是清華,清華有許多老師去國外的孔子學院教漢語去了,孔子說。。。。”你看看,我爸爸自己都這樣,我能好到哪兒去呢。

                        那么,當今父母如何走出教育孩子的誤區呢?

                        1.父母應加強學習,提高科學教育子女的能力,孔子又說了:“其身正,不令而行;其身不正,雖令不從。”身教勝于言教,父母的一舉一動,一言一行,無不潛移默化的影響著孩子的成長。父母首先要提高自身的素養,才能完成教育孩子的重任。不要盲目追求近期教育目標。嚴格要求自己,為孩子樹立榜樣。

                        2.孩子在家庭養成的行為習慣往往伴隨他的一生,家庭中形成的良好品德和行為習慣,是青少年兒童成就人生的基石。

                        3.溫暖和諧的家庭環境很重要,父母要加強與孩子的言語和情感交流,保證孩子在幸福地環境中成長。

                        陶行知說:我們對兒童有兩種極端的心理,都與兒童有害。一是忽視;二是期望太切。忽視則任其象毛草一樣自生自滅,期望太切不免拔苗助長,反而促其夭折。

                        教育孩子是一場修行,咱們一起努力!

                        [出處:教育家庭教育]

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